I love my Grandma. I've never called her "grandma" though. Ever since I could remember I
called her "Nana", I don�t know why, I just always have, that�s who is to me.
She�s had health problems since I can remember also. Almost 5 years ago, when my grandpa
started to get really sick with leukemia my mom started to stay at her house to care for them
both. That was the last time that I lived with my mom. She has never come home from my Nana�s
house. After my grandpa passed away, my mom was consumed with caring for my grandma, by this
time she was bound to a wheel chair. My dad and I lived together and my brother and mom lived
together. It wasn�t long before my dad was soon staying there also, leaving me alone in my
family�s old house. Fast-forward several years. My brother moved back home with me, I moved
into my own house, I got married and am starting a family of my own.
During all of the moves, my Nana's health was on a steady decline. She became bed ridden and
100% dependent on my mom for her care. Simple tasks such as going to the bathroom, and eating
food were things that my nana wasn�t able to do by her self. I�ve seen the stress it causes on
my mom, but I�ve also seen the true love that she has for her mother. The only breaks in my
mom�s non-stop job have been the periods where my Nana became very ill and was admitted into
the hospital. Even then my mom would spend hours with my Nana.
We have had several close calls with her, but each time she has pulled through. Several weeks
ago, my Nana got really sick and was admitted to the hospital. I went to visit her after she
was admitted. I brought her a picture of my soon to be wife and I from the day we got engaged.
She told me hang it on the wall opposite of her bed so she could look at us all the time. She
was saddened that she wasn�t going to be able to make my wedding, but I understood. She told
me that she was proud of the man I had become and that I had chosen a wonderful woman to
marry.
As I got married, and my Nana's condition worsened. The nurses told my family that she kept
looking out of the window and talking about how it was a shame that it was raining on her
Grandson's wedding day, and that she wished it would stop. My mom brought her one of the
flower arrangements that we had at the wedding, and told her stories about the wedding in
detail.
I became occupied with my wife and my roles as a new husband, while my Nana's condition
worsened. The doctors found critical problems with her intestines, and had to perform
emergency surgery. They gave her a 50/50 chance of living through the operation. She made it
through. With a lot of prayer from my friends, and Gods grace, she made it through, and the
doctors were able to save her. She was on a breathing machine until she became stable. She was
taken off of the machines a few days later. Still weak from the surgery, she was unable to
communicate clearly with my family. Her breathing became labored, and the hospital staff
hooked her back up to life support. Her condition has gotten worse over the last few days. The
machines are keeping her alive now.
During my lunch break today, my mom called me and informed me that the doctors wanted to meet
with her about removing my Nana from life support. It�s a hard decision for my mom. My mom has
gone from taking care of her children to taking care of her mother. Taking care of people has
been constant in my mom�s life for years now.
*UPDATE*
As I was working on this blog entry on Wenesday, I got a phone call from my mom. My Nana is barely
conscious. They started a morphine drip to ease her pain, the doctors don�t think it will be
long now.
I left work and raced over to the hospital. On the way, I prayed hard. I called Thommy and
asked him for advice and for prayer [side note: I love the fact that I have friends that are
there for me both physically and spiritually]. Talking to Thommy really helped me out.
My Nana was in bad shape. Her eyes were closed but the nurses told me that she could still
hear me; she was just to weak to move. I held her hand, and told her that I was there. Her
vital signs jumped, and her thumb started to twitch. I knew that my Nana was still inside
there and knew that I was there. I tried my best to hold back the tears, but I couldn�t.
I told my Nana that it I loved her, as I kissed her on the head. My family that was there was
very shaken up. My mom was a wreck. I don�t know If I handle death better then most people
because I don�t fear death because I know Jesus is on my side, or I was just trying to be
strong for my mom, and be a pillar for her to lean on.
I asked to be alone with my Nana; my family left the room. I got to tell my Nana how much she
means to me and how much I loved her, and how her influences will continue on, through my
children one day. Her vital signs were racing and her little thumb was jumping around in my
hand. I also took the time to tell her about Jesus, His promises, and Heaven. I also told her
about the vision I had received after grandpa had died (that�s a whole blog entry in itself).
At that point her vitals spiked the highest I had seen them. Her pulse was nearing 150, both
of her hands were twitching, her feet started to move a little, and tears started to come from
her closed eyes. I knew she could hear me, and I knew she understood what I was saying. I
wiped them away, kissed her head, and prayed over her. I was glad that I got to share with
her. Afterwards I calm came over me. I was still sad, but not as upset about the situation.
Maybe it was just in my head, but I like to believe my peace was give to me from the Lord.
I'll know for one day, that is certain, and I hope to see my loving Nana there when I do.
My mom was a wreck over the situation, and I don�t blame her. For years my mom�s daily 24-hour
job was the constant care of my Nana. Her world would be changing drastically very shortly. I
held on to her and told her that things would be all right. I was able to share with her some
of the truths that I know about life, death, and Heaven. My mom isn�t a Christian, but I was
able to share with her some portions of the Bible, and some verses that I had been thinking
about through the day. It will be interesting to see where this experience will lead my family
spiritually. I assured my mom that it is promised we receive new and perfect bodies in Heaven.
A perfect body was something that my Nana never knew. Talking to my mom helped her. It also
helped me to further understand that the promises laid out for me aren�t empty promises.
My Nana's condition hadn�t changed in the 3 hours that I was there. I had a business meeting
at 9pm in Redlands. I told my mom to call me if there was any change in her condition.
On the way back to Redlands, I tried to call Thommy again, I couldn�t get a hold of him, so I
called Jacob. I and asked him for some verses that I could share with my family, and that I
could read over. He said he would call me back right away; he was going to talk to Thommy and
Eden. I hung up and called Chris Rodney, he was right there for me also, and gave me some
verses. Jacob called back and
gave me some more. My friends are truly more then social partners, and acquaintances; they are
both my physical and spiritual family. Talking to them helped me even more.
About 11:30 I got the call from my mom. The doctors were going to remove her respirator; they
had done all they could for her. I raced back to the hospital. The guard tried to stop me, but
I side stepped him and kept walking. Nothing was going to keep me away from my family.
When I got to the room, my nanas brother and sister were there, along with the rest of my
family. A few minutes after I was there, the nurses removed her breathing tube. Her vital
signs started to stop decline. We stood there and held her hand while crying, and telling her
that it was ok to go, to go see my Grandpa again.
My Nana left this world at 12:23 am, March 17th 2005
Lightness filled the hospital room. It felt like a weight had been lifted. Everyone in the
room felt it. That made me smile. There was still a lot of crying. I was crying as well.
I�m glad that I saw given such a wonderful Nana, who always made me feel loved and cared for.
She was absolutely the sweetest woman that I have ever known. I don�t think she had a single
mean bone in her body. Despite the pain and discomfort that she was constantly in, she always
had a smile on her face, and laugh coming out of her mouth. I�m glad that my wife got to meet
her and get to know her. I�m confident that I will see her again in heaven, along with my
Grandpa.
Losing a loved one is always hard, but they are never really gone as long as we keep our
memories of them alive in minds, and the love we shared with them in our hearts.
I went home to Amy that night, and cried as she held me. The last words My Nana told me were
correct; I have chosen a wonderful woman to be married to.
So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an
imperishable body; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it
is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a
natural body, there is also a spiritual body.
(1 Corinthians 15:42-44)
He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there
shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.
(Revelation 21:4)